
Trends Are Collective, Not Competitive: While Jools Lebron brought “very demure, very mindful” into mainstream TikTok culture with humor and relatability, Selyna Brillare quietly laid the philosophical groundwork years before. The real takeaway? Internet trends aren’t owned, they evolve through layers of contribution.
🔁 Trends aren’t about who did it first, but how the culture shapes it next. ~ Slangwise ~
Very Demure, Very Mindful, Very Cutesy: The TikTok Trend That Sparked a Creator Showdown
If you’ve scrolled through TikTok in the past year, you must have seen the phrase “very demure, very mindful” plastered across makeup tutorials, outfit inspo posts, and even eating pizza videos.
But here’s the million-dollar question: Who actually started this very demure, very mindful trend if a thing?
Spoiler: It’s messy. Two creators, Jools Lebron and Selyna Brillare – are at the center of this debate. One went viral for making “demure” a punchline; the other claims she planted the seed years earlier.
Let’s unpack this drama, demurely, of course.
- Very Demure, Very Mindful, Very Cutesy: The TikTok Trend That Sparked a Creator Showdown
- What Even Is the Demure Trend?
- What does Demure really mean and why is everyone saying it.
- The Contenders: Jools vs. Selyna
- Very Demure Very Mindful: Who Really Started It?
- What Does Pookie Mean in Gen Z Slang?
- The Verdict (Spoiler: It’s Complicated):
- Why Did “Very Demure” Go Viral?
- Demure IRL: How People Use the Trend
- 18 Captivating Slang Words For Attractive Female
- The Bigger Picture: Why This Trend Matters
- Final Take: Can Two People “Own” a Trend?
- FAQs
What Even Is the Demure Trend?
First, let’s define our terms. “Demure” traditionally means modest, reserved, or quietly elegant, think Audrey Hepburn vibes. But in Gen Z slang? It’s a lifestyle meme.
- TikTok Twist: It’s about ironic mindfulness. Imagine captioning a video of you tripping over a rug with, “Living very demurely today.”
- Why It Works: It flips an old-school term into a self-aware joke. It’s not about perfection, it’s about laughing at the gap between “I want to be classy” and “I’m a hot mess.”
The Contenders: Jools vs. Selyna
Jools Lebron: The Viral Queen of “Very Demure”

In August 2023, Jools Lebron (@joolieannie) posted a TikTok that changed everything.
In her 38-second video, she applied subtle makeup for work, joking: “A lot of you girls go to the interview looking like Marge Simpson and go to the job looking like Patty and Selma, not demure.”
Why It Went Viral:
- Humor + Relatability: Comparing job interviews to The Simpsons? Genius.
- Authenticity: She called out the performative “professionalism” we all fake.
- The Catchphrase: “Very demure, very mindful” became a meme template. Suddenly, everyone was doing “demure” skits, from eating salads to folding laundry.
Jools didn’t just define the trend; she turned it into a cultural inside joke.
Selyna Brillare: The OG Pioneer of Demureness

Enter Selyna Brillare (@selyna.brillare). Long before Jools’ video, Selyna posted about “demure living” in 2020–2021. Her content focused on:
- Mindfulness: Being intentional with your actions and words.
- Community Uplift: Using modesty to support marginalized groups.
- Cultural Roots: Tying demureness to ballroom culture and LGBTQ+ history.
But Here’s the Catch: Selyna deleted most of her early videos. While she claims she pioneered the concept, there’s little proof left online.
Selyna’s Angle:
- “Demure isn’t just aesthetics, it’s a mindset.”
- She blended grace with activism, urging followers to “stay kind in a cruel world.”
Very Demure Very Mindful: Who Really Started It?
Let’s break down the evidence:
Jools Lebron | Selyna Brillare |
---|---|
Viral August 2023 video | Claims 2020–2021 origin |
Humorous, relatable | Philosophical, deeper messaging |
Mainstream explosion | Niche, deleted content |
The Verdict (Spoiler: It’s Complicated):
- Jools = The trend’s face. She made it mainstream.
- Selyna = The unsung blueprint. Her ideas gave it depth.
Think of it like this: Jools is the pop star who made the song a hit; Selyna is the songwriter who wrote the lyrics years prior. 😎
Why Did “Very Demure” Go Viral?
Gen Z didn’t just adopt this trend, they weaponized it. Here’s why:
- Rejection of “Extra” Culture: After years of over-the-top influencers, subtlety feels rebellious.
- Self-Aware Humor: Using “demure” to describe chaotic moments (“Demurely crying over my Wi-Fi”) is peak Gen Z irony.
- Mindfulness Marketing: Brands like Aerie and Glossier capitalized on the “less is more” vibe.
For instance: A TikToker films a “demure morning routine” with soft lighting… then spills coffee everywhere. Caption: “Living mindfully (ish).”
Demure IRL: How People Use the Trend
Beyond TikTok, “demure” has seeped into daily life:
- Fashion: Thrifted blazers, pearl accessories, quiet luxury knockoffs.
- Beauty: “No-makeup makeup” tutorials with 20+ products (the irony isn’t lost on us).
- Work Culture: Jokes about “demure” Zoom backgrounds vs. your actual messy room.
Pro Tip: To sound ~demure~ at parties, say: “I’m just here to observe the vibes.”
The Bigger Picture: Why This Trend Matters
The demure trend isn’t just a meme, it’s a cultural reset.
- For Women & LGBTQ+ Folks: It reclaims “modesty” as empowerment, not oppression.
- For Men: Quiet confidence is in (see: Timothée Chalamet’s entire existence).
- For Society: It’s a middle finger to hustle culture. You don’t have to be “on” 24/7.
Final Take: Can Two People “Own” a Trend?
Here’s the tea: Trends are collabs, not competitions. Jools gave us the laughs; Selyna gave us the soul. Together, they turned “demure” from a dusty adjective into a movement.
Meanwhile, just in case yiu post a “very demure” selfie, tip your hat to both creators. And if anyone should asks who started it? Say: “The people, baby. Always the people.” Lol. 🤣
TL;DR: Jools Lebron made “demure” viral; Selyna Brillare gave it heart. The real winner? All of us, living our “very demure, very messy” lives. 💅
FAQs
YES. Swap “modest dresses” for a crisp white tee and chill confidence. Demureness is a vibe, not a gender.
Trends fade, but the values (mindfulness, authenticity) are timeless.
Pair it with self-deprecation. Example: “Demure outfit, chaotic energy.”
Jenna Ortega’s Wednesday aesthetic? Textbook demure. Celebs def helped.